Money is not the measure of happiness-or at least it doesn’t have to be. Money is important, we all need it, but you don’t need money to be a giving and generous person. The best things in life are not dependent on my income level.
I used to make 20k/year. At that time any financial amount I gave felt like it cost the world. When I gave money, gifts, opportunities it was because I felt obligated, pressured or embarrassed. But that’s not the way I should be giving. I’ve also been really bad at receiving. When someone was generous with me I did not appreciate it. I appreciated it momentarily when the generosity benefited me, but my heart wasn’t honoring the quality in them and my mind was not thinking “that is a quality I should pick up on.” The first time that changed was when I was doing a six week gig out of town and Bill and Lynda hosted me in their home. They opened their home to me, someone they barely knew, shared meals with me, and treated me like family. The amazing thing was that they gave joyfully. They were generous because they wanted to be. And it didn’t come without cost. It cost them time, privacy, and money, but what I learned from watching them was that I too could find joy in being generous.
And while generosity can include financial giving, that's not what it is about. Generosity is actually a mindset where I am focused on the needs of others and I value their needs above my own. I think most of us care about people to some level but fewer people prioritize the needs of others above their own. I definitely didn’t do that for most of my life but then l learned that there was something better than my way.
I have 6 ways I’ve learned I can be generous that someone with no money can do:
#1 I can be a generous co-worker- going above and beyond in the workplace vs. just doing what is required.
#2 Generous with patience- some people never stop talking, are boring, or get to the point painfully slowly. I used to avoid these conversations like the plague but I’ve realized that offering patience in these circumstances, to hear and see people who likely get brushed off by others, is important.
#3 I can be a generous roommate: Whether I have roommates or live with family there are endless opportunities to make life more positive for the people in my home through acts of service.
#4 Generous to the lonely- I went to a new high school my junior year. That experience taught me that if I see someone who is isolated or doesn’t know anyone I ought to be the one who reaches out and connects with that person because I know how meaningful it is to receive that generosity.
#5 Generous in helping out- When I would go over to people’s homes for dinner, I might offer to help with clean up or to contribute somehow but I usually got the response, “oh no! I’ve got it. You just enjoy.” And instead of insisting to help I would just accept the answer I wanted to hear. I didn’t prefer to do the dishes, so that worked for me!... I don’t like that that was my attitude. Now I know that it’s so much better to look for opportunities to help instead of avoid them.
#6 Generous in preferences- If I prefer strategy games but my friends prefer party games, or if my family loves to go to the beach but I prefer hiking in the mountains I can choose their preferences over mine knowing that they will take joy in those experiences.
And here is the bonus way that makes any generous choice increasingly more generous.
**Being generous when people don’t deserve it. It’s easier to give to people who I like, people who are kind, or who are generous with me. It’s difficult to be generous when people don’t deserve it. But I have received so much from people when I did not deserve it. It is hypocritical of me to withhold something from others that was freely given to me. And I’m referring both to people who have given to me when I didn’t deserve it and God, who forgave me when I didn’t deserve it. But I’ve realized that giving when it’s not deserved is pretty much the core of what love is. And I think love is at the core of generosity.